I shared a bed with another boy on a church youth trip when I was 12. He touched me, then pulled my hand to his underwear. It was my first sexual experience and one I’ve written about fondly. He was a few years older than me, never asked my permission, and I never gave it, but to call it an assault feels disingenuous, both to the many people who’ve come forward to tell their stories in the wake of #MeToo and to the memory itself. I don’t know if that makes me delusional or simply lucky.

The fact is, I’ve had to ask myself that very uncomfortable question recently. The looming threat of Brett Kavanaugh’s appointment to the Supreme Court and the devastating testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford have made people across the United States rethink our memories and face incredible pain. While it’s disgusting to watch a body of men attack Dr. Ford and work arduously to discredit her, such a public testimony charges us to ask vital questions — both of ourselves and the culture we all participate in creating.

What does sex-positivity look like in all this? With such dark headlines of assault filling the public consciousness, it might seem wrong — even distasteful — to remind people of the importance of sex-positivity. But the fact is, #MeToo has its strongest foothold in the sex-positive movement and in people like me who push for open, healthy discussion about sex.

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Being Sex-Positive in a World of Brett Kavanaughs, Donald Trumps by Alexander Cheves

Oct. 4th, 2018