Ellie and I had been playing together consistently for months, and I trusted her enough that, one evening, I told her we didn’t need to check in as often during sex. I wanted her to do something new to my body or take something away from me without telling me first. I wanted room for surprise. When I’m a bottom, I don’t need an advance play-by-play because I’m not in charge; I leave my incessant need for control on the floor with my clothes.

The next time we met up, she suggested blindfolding me, to which I readily agreed. I was not only exchanging far fewer verbal cues; I also couldn’t pick up on visual ones. All I knew was it felt like electricity when she touched me literally anywhere and I was aching for each and every perfect moment of contact. And then, when I felt like I wasn’t going to think about anything but the way her tongue felt on my neck ever again, she said, “Don’t come until I say so.”

I tried to close my legs but she had me completely at her mercy. The environment turned me on so much at that moment, but I didn’t come. I don’t know if it was the direct order from Ellie or my anticipation, but I was having a blast.

I was so into the denial because I thrive on instructions…


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Bottoms Up: Denial by Al(aina)

January 25, 2017