Three things. Three little things brought our play from “what kind of things do you want to play with” to “I like sex that is kind of, you know… rough” to “what have you always wanted to do, but haven’t yet” to “I would so love to do those things with you” to “I’ve always wanted someone to play with like this” — from physical to psychological.

The psychology was always an undercurrent. It can feel profound to be doing rough, dirty things. When I played with Sarah*, I felt surges of strength when overpowering her physically, pushing her body around, throwing her onto the bed, holding her down, watching red marks rise where I’d smacked or grabbed or punched. I saw the lust in her eyes as she watched me. Her mouth open, breath deep.

We had our tastes of surrendering and surges long before we started to add the play of our minds. But when we changed the game a little, and added just a few little things, our play soared to new mountain summits I hadn’t even known we could reach, or let alone want.

I held her down, both hands around her wrists above her head. She was moaning, but it was late and the walls in my apartment were tissue-paper thin. My roommate was annoyed enough at my late night sexcapades.

I put my hand over her mouth. “Don’t make a sound,” I ordered. Her eyes widened. Underneath me, her hips moved, that gentle rubbing where she tried to get her clit against the seam of her jeans. She liked this.

 

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View From the Top: From Physical to Psychological by Sinclair Sexsmith

January 3, 2017