Feeling the need to apologize for speaking up at work or in relationships is often a learned behavior that, research shows, is much more common among women than men. But is it possible to stop saying “sorry” when it’s so ingrained in the way many of us communicate? Professional Dominatrix Mistress Tara Indianawould say yes: She’s found that BDSM (or bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism) is a surprisingly effective way to help women become more self-assured and less apologetic. “Learning how to accurately use a single tail whip can help you assert yourself at work,” Indiana says. “When you master a skill like that, it gives you a boost of confidence that you can build upon in other areas of your life.”

Indiana has been teaching these skills to women since 1993 in a series of workshops focused on the art, science, and business of female domination or FemDom. Under her tutelage, women can develop Dominatrix personas for professional pursuits, or simply gain more control over their careers and relationships. “One of the first things I teach women is how to stop apologizing,” Indiana says. “It can be a difficult behavior to alter—especially during my workshops, which often involve inflicting pain. The automatic response [when you hurt someone] is to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ However, in the context of a BDSM power exchange, what the dominant (or top) does to the submissive (or bottom) is consensual and well negotiated. This teaches women to change the social dynamics they’ve been conditioned to follow.”

 

Read the full article:

How BDSM is Teaching Women to Become More Assertive by Margaret Andersen

June 12, 2019