My first encounter with financial domination came by way of an instant message on the phone sex platform where I work. A new client introduced himself, asked if he could call me Mistress, and told me that he has been fantasizing about having me drain his wallet. Fortunately for me, I am in the business of turning fantasies into reality and after a couple hours of (non-sexual) online banter, I had grocery money for the month.

In a capitalist society, it should be no surprise that money is equated with power and that power is eroticized. It should also be no surprise, then, that financial domination — or “findom” — has emerged as a kink within BDSM that many professional dominatrices have incorporated into their work. While these relationships can take different forms, it is not unusual for a findom to have access to their sub’s — or “pay piggies” — bank accounts, credit cards, and paychecks. I talked to two financial subs about what motivates them to enter into these relationships.

David, a 47-year-old lawyer in New York City, says that while a lot of financial domination takes place online, his experiences have also been in-person. “I definitely met some people in NYC who I would just be generous with, I would take them shopping,” he says. The first time he remembers spending big was on one of these shopping trips, during which he spent $17,000 on expensive shoes, clothes, and jewelry.

 

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Like Many BDSM Practitioners, Financial Submissives Eroticize Giving Up Control by Jessie Sage

August 21, 2019