Layla, a 30ish queer sub who enjoys domination by her partners—her name has been changed for her privacy—has been in therapy for about five years. She first sought therapy when she divorced a long-term spouse and began exploring a relationship with a dom. Layla’s first therapist assured her that her treatment plan was “kink-friendly”—a designation Layla felt was crucial to her emotional well-being and progress. How that was expressed in practice, though, didn’t feel understanding or inclusive of Layla’s sexuality at all.

“My partner has been very key to my recovery in that he has been there both emotionally and, when I have needed him to be, in a dominant way,” she said. “But I soon realized that if I discussed my kinks or my dom/sub relationship [with my therapist], she was extremely uncomfortable with it—she told me [my dom] was controlling.”

“Once it became clear my kinks in general were an issue, I stopped telling her anything more,” Layla said. “I wasn’t ashamed of being submissive and didn’t want to change. I’m glad that I wasn’t primarily seeing my therapist about sexuality, because the emotional result may have been much more damaging.”

July 22, 2020

Read the Full Article Here: VICE: How to Find a Sex-Positive Therapist by  Penda N’diaye